Kizz & Tell is a combination of item #17 on my Life List (Develop an erotic fiction web site) and a continuation of the G-spot column I used to write at The Women's Colony. From fantasies to frank discussion I'm just trying to re-create a really great conversation with your friends. I hope you'll join in!

Monday, October 18, 2010

I'll Try Anything Twice

Strangely enough for a person who is so afraid of new situations there's a whole host of things I'd like to try. Writing a sex column once a week for over a year means that I learn more every day about new things. I want to try a lot of them. Not having a partner for the past few years means I need to keep the list of desires up to date and close by in case I ever get a chance to whittle it down.

I wanted to try anal sex for a long while before I finally did. In my heart I wanted to but when a partner presented it to me I still balked. Like I said, afraid of the new. I kept thinking about it. We kept talking. Eventually we tried it and it was...not great. It was awkward and scary and, frankly, kind of uncool. After some more discussion and thought, preparation and plenty of time we tried again and, I gotta tell you, I'm into it. I liked it. I wanted to do it again. It's not something I'd do with just anyone, it's not something I'd do right away with anyone at all but I'd sure do it again with the right person. If you've read my fiction (and the stats indicate that some of you have) then you know I have nothing against the ass play.

Recent research has suggested I'd like to try wearing pasties. Actually three years of marching in the Mermaid Day Parade have suggested that. I priced them while I was shopping for temporary tattoos this year. Damn, they're expensive! But The Beautiful Kind posted pictures of these beauties and my practical side got a swift boot to the head. Perhaps if I save my pennies I'll be sporting some of those next June.

Maybe I'm wrong but I'll bet that anyone who's ever seen Risky Business has thought about having sex on public transportation. I thought it was hot then, I think it's hot now. I've passed many a boring commute by working out the logistics of intercourse on those ugly, plastic seats. Apparently some other New Yorkers were so intrigued they just went for it. Didn't even stop when other passengers got on the train! I don't think I've got that kind of chutzpah but maybe in the heat of the moment having an audience (with cell phone cameras) wouldn't bother me. We may never know.

The thing that's really crowding into my mind these days, though, is fisting. When I first heard about it I couldn't even imagine what that would look like. It seemed aggressive and painful and frightening, in an intriguing sort of way. As time passed I learned that it wasn't so much a fist and it was something you built up to with someone you trust, much like I did with the anal sex. A few weeks ago there was some discussion somewhere, either at AAG's blog or at The Beautiful Kind about whether fisting would stretch out the vagina into a gaping, frictionless abyss. TBK was so angry about the implication that she built something wonderful out of it. She set up a photo shoot of herself being fisted and blogged the results, complete with a before and after shot of her vagina, no gaping at all. I wish there were more photos of the process. I absolutely want to try that. I really need to write my list of desires down and put it in a safe place.

Hell, I really need to be more proactive about finding a partner to share this list with. 

Do you have a list? Will you share some of the desires that are on it? I'd love to hear.


  1. Sorry. I'm all open-minded and shit, but I don't think that I'd have been able to stay on that train...

  2. Do you mean as participant or observer?

    The observers may have been (briefly) trapped in Sometimes you get on a car, sit down, the doors close and THEN you look around and realize there's no AC, a preacher or, you know, a live sex show on the car you've chosen and the exit door is inoperable so you're stuck until the next stop. The choice to film the event is another subject entirely.

    The participants could, of course, have lowered the curtain on the show at any time.

  3. You know what movie scene I thought was hot? The one in Enemy at the Gates...
    I don't have a running list of things I want to try. But I have a sort of fantasy list. I don't know if my guy would be up for some of them, and for others... no. I don't know if even I would be really up for these or if they are meant to live in the realm of fantasy.
    - in public.. not the train kind of public, but maybe somewhere out there where an audience isn't likely.
    - ffm threesome
    - mmf with double penetration

  4. Oh, I don't know. Sadly, I'm a long way from trust right now.
    I know myself well enough to know that even with rules and boundries, a threesome should remain a fantasy. -chrome

  5. I've actually been kind of intrigued about fisting since we watched Chasing Amy. I finally worked up the never to tell my long time partner about my desire a couple of weeks ago. We haven't gotten to it, yet.

  6. Freudian slip, Chasing Amy Anon?
    I assume you meant "nerve" when you wrote "never."

    I think I fall more in the "never" camp on this one!!!