Kizz & Tell is a combination of item #17 on my Life List (Develop an erotic fiction web site) and a continuation of the G-spot column I used to write at The Women's Colony. From fantasies to frank discussion I'm just trying to re-create a really great conversation with your friends. I hope you'll join in!

Monday, August 2, 2010

I See You Standing There

I read this fantastically interesting book last week, Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science & Sex by Mary Roach. Her previous hit was Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers. I keep wondering if she  was sorry she squandered that title on corpses once she figured out she'd be writing Bonk.

I feel as though a War & Peace-length book report wouldn't be out of place here but I think it's better to simply call it the inspiration for a number of posts. I'm ever so slightly regretting having gotten it out of the library and therefore having to return it but I have taken copious notes so I'll do my best and any time anyone wants to correct me from their own copy I'll take it gladly.

One of the challenges Roach faced in researching Bonk was from the FDA. The organization has very strict rules about how studies utilizing human subjects are conducted. It's understandable but it means that our author went to some interesting lengths to get proper data for her writing. The most sensational of these choices had to do with ultrasound imaging.

As technology progresses so does our ability to investigate certain human processes. A couple of enterprising doctors are, slowly and carefully, working to do ultrasound imagery on human beings engaging in sexual intercourse. As I understand it the couple engages in some spoon-shaped nookie while a technician used an thingee on the woman's abdomen, taking 3-D snapshots of the goings on within. Roach mentions, just fleetingly, that it was unexpectedly intimate because the doctor stood behind them (one assumes to avoid any uncomfortable eye contact) so had to lean slightly over and he steadied himself gently with a hand on her husband's hip.

Sounds a little questionable, right? Was the doctor getting off on it? Were the Roaches? Well, as described, Mr. Roach used a little blue pill to alleviate performance anxiety, and he and the doctor were chatting amiably about their families' ages and interests. Right up until the doctor said, "You may ejaculate now." Aw, quit it with the sexy talk, doc, you'll skew the results.

There are points in the procedure, apparently, where the couple has to remain still for up to 12 seconds, another reason there's no shame in leaning on the ED medication. I don't know that I could have done it, I'd have been giggling too hard.

I had an on-again, off-again thing with a guy I met in college that took place over the the course of nearly a decade. Way back in the beginning we once got a little jiggy on the rooftop of his apartment building. It's a big city and he lived in a short building. If anyone had wanted to watch us, partially covered though we were, they certainly could have. No on applauded. Perhaps I should be offended.

By the time of our last ill-fated encounter it became clear that the relatively innocent rooftop incident had been the beginning of his experimentation with exhibitionism. He has since become a lot more comfortable with showing off his body in public situations.

Or so I hear.

We had a completely non-sexual falling out so I can't tell you what flours his bread these days. But if I know him at all, and I think I do, this is an important part of his sensual and creative life. (Side note: Also my first uncircumcised penis.) For me, I don't know that it's integral as much as intriguing. I find fantasies about being watched quite exciting. I haven't had much experience with it outside of the fantasy realm, though. I think probably an accidental viewing, something on the order of not being able to wait to get home so hiding in a doorway or nook and passersby getting an eye full as they walk, would be more of a thrill than any sort of performance I might be asked to give, however informal.

I could be wrong, though, I might surprise myself. I am a trained actor, after all.

What about you? Where do you stand (or sit or lie or lean alluringly against a doorjamb) on being watched in action?


  1. I think it can be very instrumental when a partner watches another. They get to see how long it takes, what works, how we pleasure ourselves. I've never let other souls watch "us" however I have been to a live sex show in San Fran which I found very interesting.

  2. I did it in Ft. Greene Park. The thrill came more from the possibility of getting in trouble than from someone watching.

  3. By the way, that wasn't you that jogged by, was it?

  4. Gert, I'd be really interested to hear more about the show in San Francisco!

    Chrome, it was not me but I am compelled to ask, since that is my park, WHERE exactly? (I have seen other people who I've suspected in that park.)

  5. I think I could show you, but I'm not sure I could tell you....between a tree and some bushes on the back left side (if you consider the entrance by your apt. the front)perimeter, right off the joggers' path.

  6. i actually enjoy watching my partner with another woman. one of my close friends has come over for some "extracurricular activities" and there's nothing better than watching him satisfy her...especially when she needed it most.

    knowing that i'm being watched is far more exciting than the possibility of getting caught. i'd rather watch that person getting off on what my partner and i are actually gets me even MORE excited. it's the best kind of circular situation i can think of.

  7. The thought of it- of secretly knowing that someone is secretly watching me and getting excited is exciting.
    But it has not yet been experienced. We are more likely to have a kid walk in on us at this point, which... not sexy.
    I think I am too reserved to outright put on a show for someone and get off on them watching.