Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science & Sex by Mary Roach. Her previous hit was Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers. I keep wondering if she was sorry she squandered that title on corpses once she figured out she'd be writing Bonk.
I feel as though a War & Peace-length book report wouldn't be out of place here but I think it's better to simply call it the inspiration for a number of posts. I'm ever so slightly regretting having gotten it out of the library and therefore having to return it but I have taken copious notes so I'll do my best and any time anyone wants to correct me from their own copy I'll take it gladly.
One of the challenges Roach faced in researching Bonk was from the FDA. The organization has very strict rules about how studies utilizing human subjects are conducted. It's understandable but it means that our author went to some interesting lengths to get proper data for her writing. The most sensational of these choices had to do with ultrasound imaging.
Sounds a little questionable, right? Was the doctor getting off on it? Were the Roaches? Well, as described, Mr. Roach used a little blue pill to alleviate performance anxiety, and he and the doctor were chatting amiably about their families' ages and interests. Right up until the doctor said, "You may ejaculate now." Aw, quit it with the sexy talk, doc, you'll skew the results.
There are points in the procedure, apparently, where the couple has to remain still for up to 12 seconds, another reason there's no shame in leaning on the ED medication. I don't know that I could have done it, I'd have been giggling too hard.
I had an on-again, off-again thing with a guy I met in college that took place over the the course of nearly a decade. Way back in the beginning we once got a little jiggy on the rooftop of his apartment building. It's a big city and he lived in a short building. If anyone had wanted to watch us, partially covered though we were, they certainly could have. No on applauded. Perhaps I should be offended.
Or so I hear.
We had a completely non-sexual falling out so I can't tell you what flours his bread these days. But if I know him at all, and I think I do, this is an important part of his sensual and creative life. (Side note: Also my first uncircumcised penis.) For me, I don't know that it's integral as much as intriguing. I find fantasies about being watched quite exciting. I haven't had much experience with it outside of the fantasy realm, though. I think probably an accidental viewing, something on the order of not being able to wait to get home so hiding in a doorway or nook and passersby getting an eye full as they walk, would be more of a thrill than any sort of performance I might be asked to give, however informal.
I could be wrong, though, I might surprise myself. I am a trained actor, after all.
What about you? Where do you stand (or sit or lie or lean alluringly against a doorjamb) on being watched in action?